happiness = climbing toward the peak of the mountain (having a goal + living in the now)
- express gratitude
- cultivate optimism (think of my best possible self in the future, don’t take things for granted)
- avoid over-thinking & social comparison (when mad, don’t ruminate, do something else)
- practice acts of kindness
- nurture social relationships
- develop strategies for coping
- learn to forgive
- increase Flow experiences
- savor life’s joys
- commit to my goals
- practice religion and spirituality
- take care of your body (thru meditation, physical activity, acting like a happy person)
- Wisdom and Knowledge: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective
- Courage: bravery, persistence, integrity, zest
- Love and Humanity: love, kindness, social intelligence
- Justice: citizenship, fairness, leadership
- Temperance: forgiveness and mercy, humility, prudence, self control
- Spirituality and Transcendence: appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, humor, spirituality
Meaning is then simply using my signature strengths often, in service to something bigger than yourself
Finding your mission:
- what can I and ONLY I do (start small, e.g. w/ my family: good bf, son, friend…)?
- how can I use my greatest gifts in greatest service to the world?
- if I had all the money+time, what would I do (as my mission)?
- what’d I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
- what am I most proud of? what will I be most proud of?
3 Ps: optimist perception of (empowering perspective of the Creator: “what do I want?”)
- good things: permanent (it will stay), pervasive (it spreads to other areas of life), personal (it’s because of me) 🙂
- bad things: not permanent, not pervasive, not personal
GROWTH MINDSET of the optimalist: you just try to get better, you don’t care for (just) “being good” –> life as a playground (a GAME) to make as many experiments as possible + lesson learned to improve for next time (benefit finder while embracing reality)
- purpose (and vision)
- self-awareness (know myself)
- wisdom (life as my classroom)
- en*theos (harmony with wholeness) – Areté (living at my fullest potential: excellence, virtue)
- the ultimate currency is happiness (not money, time, energy…)
- intrinsic (relationships, growth, contribution) vs. extrinsic (fame, wealth, hotness) goals + focus on the STEPS of the process (not the outcomes: results are a by-product of the steps I take)
- highest goal: show up to Areté (every moment at my highest self)
- happy archetype = positive orientation to the present & the future (you have goals that inspire you AND enjoy the process)
- dynamic tension (stretch zone): difficult but possible goals (true confidence) using baby steps
- put your virtues in action! (signature strengths, calling description)
- put some fun in my fundamentals (meditation, exercise, nutrition, optimism, creativity, relationships, gratitude –> schedule them!)
- roles & goals (son, friend, citizen, entrepreneur… –> happy relationships, bravery, money)
- creative production goals: focus on giving (getting only as a by-product of giving) = how can I serve?
- best selves diary: think about 5yrs in the future where all is great. now build vertical coherence between that ideal and this reality (integrity)
- willpower: meditation, breathe, exercise, nutrition, small stuff (e.g. sit straight), reduce variability of my behavior (e.g. schedule), be nice to myself, pre-commit, tidy up, bright lines (know what’s important and when I’m not doing it)
- stop doing what brings me down, start doing what brings me up!
- be an optimalist, not a perfectionist (mis-takes and do again, failure goes with success, growth mindset, experiment w/ life)
- make myself proud (+1/-1 to step forward)
- get things done: capture, 1-touch things <2mins, inbox to 0, raise my standards, constrain email/FB/internet/TV time
- Covey’s quadrants: important and not urgent, 1st things 1st
- prioritize my happiness (happiness precedes success) 😉 have fun!
- even if some futures are more preferable than others, striving too much to achieve them brings to unhappiness!
- bounded fears and ambitions bring to more happiness, but we tend to foresee them as unbounded (which ruins us)!
- integrity is more important than getting what we want
Uncertainty (non-monotony) prevents adaptation (and boredom) –> also in relationships: use false adaptation (e.g. don’t see each other for a few days).
Here’s a TED video by Prof. Phil Zimbardo, one of my favorite psychologists, about changing our behavior and be our every-day heroes.
Have fun and be happy! 🙂